Tour Diaries Pt. 2: Noah’s Ark | Under the Radar

by Jordan Minnick

entries by Noah's Ark, photos by Yuppies

It's not often that one sees more cops than showers over a week's course. After Noah's Ark Was A Spaceship's Midwest/Southern tour with Yuppies, vocalist/guitarist Andrew Gustafson can say he's done it.

Fresh off his spring break, unparalleled to any other college kid's, he tells me that with four run-ins with the cops at house shows and on the road, "I don't think anyone in both bands showered more than twice." Yikes. 

(Official tour group photo)

The band introduced its debut LP, Hanga-Fang, to show-goers across the south and Midwest, even meeting a few song requests and synched lips in Denton, Texas, a city less than half the size of Lincoln.

"The kids we met were totally supportive and genuine," he says. "It's not something that you necessarily find everywhere."

"Opener" and "Warm Eyes" from Hanga-Fang. Free downloads here at Slumber Party Records.

Noah's Ark Was A Spaceship – Opener Noah's Ark Was A Spaceship – Warm Eyes 

Now back in Omaha, Noah's Ark is looking forward to a break before hitting the interstate west for a 10 (or so) day June tour. A break from playing, anyway.

"We’re looking forward to knowing that we’re coming back out again in June, but also knowing the time between now and then we can write and lay low," he says.

Along with the West coast tour, there's also talk of a weekend stint with The Answer Team, he tells me.

Be sure to also catch last week's Tour Diaries band Yuppies Friday, April 22 at Barley St. Tavern in Omaha with Baby Tears, High Diving Ponies (Kansas City) and Death of a Taxpayer. Keep on the lookout for the band's LP!

In part two, Noah's Ark goes Ninja Turtles for pizza… 

Wednesday, March 23: house show in New Orleans
We left Memphis after a long night of hard partying to New Orleans. The drive was a long, Southern-filled experience. The South is much different from Omaha. In a gas station we saw dudes with gun racks inside their trucks. There were Confederate flags everywhere and single-serving beer cans to-go on every corner. Wow!

We entered Louisiana (Gator Land). Apparently, Rob cornered one and tried to feed it some leftover bananas but it was not into them. The gator turned around and whipped Rob in the genitals. I guess he learned his lesson.

New Orleans is an incredible city still ravaged by Katrina. We played in a sweet house with Yuppies. Our sets were filled with sweat and beer. The show was so packed that things became unruly. Women threw their panties at the stage and the floor became so full of underwear that it needed to be swept before Yuppies went on. Yuppies were great and singer Boogs threw the crowd into a trance with his piercing eyes. He's a huge hit with the tranny crowd.

After the show, we hit the town with our friends Steevo, Liz and Eric from Omaha. We ate poboy sandwiches with a homeless guy before consuming gallons of Louisiana gator beer. We sang near perfect renditions of our favorite pop and R&B tunes at a karaoke bar. We stumbled home and immediately disrobed and danced the night away. We awoke the next morning nude and sweating. Off to Austin, Texas! — John (guitar/ bass/ vox)

Thursday, March 24: Cheer Up Charlie's in Austin
I woke up face down in a beautiful New Orleans backyard still horribly drunk from the night before. I had terrible memories of singing karaoke in my booze-swollen mind.

Andrew agreed to drive, which proved to be a sour idea. He is a terribly fast driver and got nabbed by the fuzz for going "a whole lot of fast" — 20 mph over the speed limit. A sobering experience which ended in the police officer and I being attacked by a huge flying beetle. The beetle's name was George and I have a feeling that damn Yuppie Jeff who slimed his way into our vehicle had something to do with the ticket and bug attack.

We continued cautiously to Austin, Texas, stopping to fill our bellies at a Jack in the Box. I will never eat that box again! Upon arriving in Austin, I felt ill and tossed that shit up. It tasted the same way coming up as it did going down.

The Yuppies set made me feel youthful again, even if they are big, big jerks. Their set went off without a hitch except for one witch asking them to turn down.

After the show, we hit the town, seeing many beautiful Texas roses with cheese-dick-hick-preppy douche bags surrounding them. A strange and confusing city. I like Austin, I might have a chance there. — Rob (drums)

Friday, March 25: house show in Denton
Good morning children! And oh certainly what a glorious morning it is! We woke up yesterday in Austin, Texas; a real deal of a city. Austin is the kind of city you can really get used to. I slept in a closest. We ate Death Metal Pizza. We saw a boy slap a horse controlled by cops. And did beer! Don't tell moms … shhhh …

After those fun things, we drove in our vans. We arrived in Denton, Texas, in exceptional moods and played an invigorating game of shirts vs. skins soccer kicking. Boogs kicked the best, Jeff ran the most, Noah had the best allergic reactions, Kevin tore down the goal posts, and I did nothing. Wow, Denton is fun!

Post kick-matching, while the other members of our exodus beer-bonged and thong-konged, we decided to sleep. But, we changed our minds and went into the sewer instead. There was broken glass and fresh running water. We talked about pizza!

Around 9 p.m., the show started to blossom into a beautifully, culturally unique circus of sing-dancers. There were no sober drivers, only drinking brothers and Texas lovers.

The Idiots played first and ruled. Then we played and John got zapped like a Mississippi fly zipping through an electric stump. His hair is grey now and he has since been drawing up mathematical equations that only make sense to geniuses and Big Foot enthusiasts. I think he will be OK.

After the show, we sat patiently as Rob demanded to let us be fed eggs that he would cook. He cooked them. He ate them. We wanted pizza and chicken nuggets but had to go to bed hungry. Crass and I slept right next to each other like a band of brothers. We talked about pizza for hours and arm-wrestled over a debate on James Hetfield's pepperoni daydreams.

In the morning, we ate pepperoni and cheese pizzas for real. We are now driving and can't wait to see our girlfriends and grandpas. Tonight we play in KC! Home of Billy Crystals and the film location of the blockbusting blockbuster City Slickers! Until then, going back to bed. — Dross, aka Andrew (vox/guitar)

Saturday, March 26: The Brick in Kansas City
Last day of the Yuppies/ Noah's Ark Was a Spaceship 'Blow It Out Your Wazoo' spring tour. Crass kept us up last night with chicken nugget chants and Jeff drank water out of a skull … What a pussy.

All I can think about is pizza. Gimme pizza. P-i-z-z-a. Guacomole. Meatballs. Whip cream pouring like waterfalls! You know? The only regret I have about this tour is that we didn't blow off shows to go eat more pizza.

Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed John got behind the wheel and took us to our next destination, Kansas City. There was plenty of roadkill, it made us hungry, but dead possum isn't as good as pizza. We stopped at a gas station in Oklahoma and I bought my girlfriend $1 million as a souvenir. I can't wait to get home and kiss her fists.Tuff luv.

We traced the jagged, throbbing vein of the interstate until we finally came face to face with the one "I"-ed monster, Kansas CIty. Met up with our friend Josh from the band High Diving Ponies at The Brick. Yuppies went on first and played my favorite song, "Bananas." It's probably my favorite song because it reminds me of pizza. After we played was High Diving Ponies. I do not normally like or trust bands with left-handed drummers, but these dudes are solid. And finally were The Conquerors — totally psychedelic and sweet. Sounded a little like the Brian Jonestown Massacre on pizza!

Well, that's the end of the tour. We are headed back to Omaha and are bummed that this experience has come to an end. Make sure to check out Yuppies at Barley St. on Friday, April 22. Also check out young Crass' band Hominoid. Later dudes. — Rick (bass/guitar)