by Brent Crampton
DJ M3 out of San Francisco pioneered the saying, "No Fucking Requests Ever" with a mix CD and T-shirt line based on the slogan. Most requests are downright annoying. But considering the consistency of the occurrence, all DJs have to figure out their own way of handling the situation. Otherwise, you may end up having a transaction like Paris Hilton had with Steve Angello of Swedish House Mafia at 2009's WMC.
While M3's one-liner distinctly sums up the frustration of DJs the world over, it isn't entirely accurate. Requests aren't always inappropriate. For instance, the time I was at Side Door Lounge and someone approached me with sincerity and respect, "curious" if I was going to get into any disco. I actually hadn't thought about doing that, but when I actually did drop disco, the whole room ignited on a wave I ended up riding until the bar closed. But unfortunately, the majority of people out there that request have no clue what constitutes appropriate request etiquette. It's as if they see DJs as some illegal immigrant house maid set to please their spontaneous whims over the threat of deportation.
When to make a request is based on context, and how you make the request is based on simple principles of human interaction your mother taught you when you were 5 years old.
There's always the common approach of, "Are you going to play any dance music tonight?," or, "Can you play something good?" These questions are all too common and just shotgun dumb. But I'll give some other examples of what to do by giving first-hand accounts of what NOT TO DO …
Just this past weekend, a patron at Sake Bombers downtown made a number of requests. Considering that the place is just a heavily seated lounge with no dance floor, I'd say he had the context right. But his idea of how his desires should be met were all messed up …
"Ya, uh, do you have Tribe Called Quest's 'Vivrant Thing?'"
I, in fact, did, and it looked like we were in manageable territory, until he said, "Ok, after you play that, then go right into … And then after that, play …"
At this point, I was being treated as a glorified jukebox. In fact, I thought about offering the DJ booth to him, since he had such a distinct vision of what needed to be played.
Another time, this jackass came up to me and said, "Ok, whatta we playin' tonight … we stuck in 1995?"
At this point, I snapped. "Whoa, no requests for you, not when you ask like that!"
Of course, any midlife crisis dude who's only hanging out with other dudes drinking Bug Light would fight fire with fire, and we proceeded to have a bit of a fracas the rest of the time he was there. I can't say that I didn't egg him on, not with words, but with music. If 1995 was too far back for him, perhaps the Johnny Cash album I got into with the mid-range on max was a bit much. Either way, on his way out he started trashing on the bouncers and ended up getting his ass kicked out.
Most common excuses I give include:
- Sorry, I wasn't booked to play that kind of music tonight.
- I don't believe I have that song, but I'll see what I can do.
- I'm actually DJing Prince as we speak.
For more tips, Beatport has a great article on "10 excuses to avoid DJ requests," or Digital DJ Tips' article on "10 Types of People Who Make Requests (And How To Handle Them)."
Upcoming Event
Side Door Disco | April 21 | Side Door Lounge
So, this one time, I dropped old-school disco at the Side Door Lounge on recommendation of Nayef Aljuraid, and it absolutely tore the place up. I'm gonna do it again.
Earth Day Sunset Ceremony | April 22 | Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge
It's Earth Day. Let's celebrate. Drums, hulla hoopers, fire spinners, dancers, dogs and incense will all coalesce on a big bridge over troubled water. After-party at Nomad Lounge, where I'll be spinning. (Weather pending).
Sonic C | April 23 | Nomad Lounge
Last time his flight got canceled, so this is the make-up date. Get it.
Last Minute Gunk | April 23 | Waiting Room
They were about to take a month's break, but then a band dropped out and they got put in. After a short hiatus from the below 21-year-old scene, they're back with doors wide open.
Easter Funday | April 24 | Waiting Room
Kobrakyle and Mello Mic team up for holy day shenanigans.
Tropical Bass w/ Apt One and Brent Tactic | April 28 | O Dining & Lounge
I'm stepping up the game of Tropical Bass with bringing in one of moombahton's rising stars from Philly, DJ Apt One. Alongside will be Brent Tactic from K.C., Kobrakyle, Spence and myself. Will be nutty!
Japan Fundraiser | April 29 | The Sandbox
Coming together for the cause.
Sunday Funday | May 1 | CAPiTOL
Want to see non-mainsteam music at CAPiTOL? Then support this.
loom Weaves Cinco De Mayo | May 5 | España
Cinco De Mayo in loom celebration style.
* Main photo from Daniel Muller
DJ Diatribes & Dandies is a weekly column written by Omaha promoter and DJ Brent Crampton exploring the electronic dance music and DJ-related culture in his city. Contact him at brentcrampton@gmail.com.